About El Momma

Thursday, July 16, 2015

Not enough and that's okay

Sometimes I feel as if I can never do or be enough.
My house is not clean enough.
There are ALWAYS chores that need to be done. 
My children are not happy enough.
Why don't they help more?
What am I doing wrong?
Look at my room.
What kind of example am I? 
I fold clothes for six.
I wash clothes for six.
I dry clothes for six.
Hello.
I do laundry for six with little or no help. 
And, I don't sort socks well.
I've given so many socks away because I just give up finding the pair. 
I am not enough. And you know what, that is okay.
I started writing this post in October. The day before visiting Apostles (our church home now) for the first time.  The pastor spoke right to me. He literally said I was not enough and I was floored. And that when God knows us, our innermost parts,  everything about us, he knows that we are not enough. We are not enough without Him, but with Him we are more than enough and He loves us completely and wholly and fully whether we are enough or not enough. I am not enough. I am not enough without Jesus. I am not enough without Christ.
He knows all those parts about me that I try to hide from others. He knows exactly what my room looks like. He knows exactly what my closet looks like when I close the door and I don't want anyone else to see. He knows the things on the inside that I hide even from myself. He knows me better than I know myself and he loves me in spite of myself. I don't know that I'll ever be the mom that I believe I should be, but I know with Jesus I am enough and I'm going to keep trying and never give up. 


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